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THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't awakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.



WIFE=WIT; HUSBAND=½ WIT

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their posi- tion. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws!â€

Oh boy! that don't sound to good for the man in your life, I'll bet the animals all come first too :wink:

Men strike back!



How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.



Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will

probably never be able to support you.



Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand

closer to the kitchen sink.



How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."



How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.



Why do men break wind more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required

pressure.



If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling

at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.




What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.



I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was

Always.



Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex

drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.



Why do men die before their wives? They want to.



Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the

street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.



In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God

created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man

has rested.



Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select

few women

who can handle the truth...

lol good comeback Tom